My world always seems to be anchored down.
My ship is ready to set sail.
Something is wrong with the captain.
My ship is ready to set sail.
Something is wrong with the captain.
In 2 weeks I'll be leaving my life in Missouri. I'm terrified. Absolutely terrified. I feel a bit like a goldfish in an ocean; small and lost with little to no direction. I spend so much of my time trying to put on a happy face, as if somebody would think less of me for not being calm and collected. I'm willing to admit, I'm not as put together as I want to be seen. Only so much can be bottled inside, until it explodes out of you!
I'm angry. I'm stressed. I'm hurt. I try not to get emotional in front of others, but lately, all I want to do is yell or cry. About everything; my dead sister, my marriage, my job, college, my parents, my "friends" or lack of. At this point, running out of milk could bring me to tears. I'm emotional over everything and nothing at the same time.
What I want is to know that I matter to somebody, because most days I hardly matter to myself. I'd like to think of friendship as a story, and many of my stories are on their last chapter. One day I'll just be a picture to delete off someone's facebook. One day I'll be gone, have I left anything worth remembering? One day I'll be a memory somebody had of "that one girl that liked cats".
I'm angry. I'm stressed. I'm hurt. I try not to get emotional in front of others, but lately, all I want to do is yell or cry. About everything; my dead sister, my marriage, my job, college, my parents, my "friends" or lack of. At this point, running out of milk could bring me to tears. I'm emotional over everything and nothing at the same time.
What I want is to know that I matter to somebody, because most days I hardly matter to myself. I'd like to think of friendship as a story, and many of my stories are on their last chapter. One day I'll just be a picture to delete off someone's facebook. One day I'll be gone, have I left anything worth remembering? One day I'll be a memory somebody had of "that one girl that liked cats".
